Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Yea it's my favorite time of year.
Most of my family this year is up in Arkansas with my mom and grandma. We couldn't afford to go this year, what with all this Bush fun flyin around... I think we are all feeling the pinch.
I call up there a couple of times a day just to hear all the noise in the background. My brothers and sisters, and nieces and nephews. I miss them so much. My dad is here but... well we all know how that goes. We will be going down to my Aunts house in Miami. I love her, but the rest of the family I never really fit in with.
Christmas spirit makes all things bearable I guess.
I hope you all have a peaceful and blessed holiday this year. I hope you are with the ones you love, or if you can't be, at least enjoy the ones you are with.
My prayers remain, for peace and understanding for all.
Monday, December 08, 2008
I heard my name on the wind as I walked by. I smiled knowing that she was telling him about me. There was no new relationship without the explanation of our friendship. How do you explain something like that? The closeness? The need to talk, touch, be around each other?
My pillow filled tent was a welcome site, crawling in, I flopped on the overstuffed lumps of comfort. Opening the book I had been reading, I rolled onto my stomach and picked up where I left off.
"Can I come in?" a face at the door.
"Of course you can." I barely looked up. She always did this. "Wasn't your type?" I knew why she was here, I just don't think she did.
"I realized something." She said as she sat in front of me.
"Hmm? What's that?" I said, pretending to be uninterested.
"Well, I kept talking about you and I don't think he liked it. I realized that I didn't care if he liked it. I love you and if he can't understand that, he can't ever understand me."
"Cool." I felt butterflies in my belly. This wasn't unusual.
She moved closer to me, leaning forward as she spoke, "I know it's not much." I could feel her breath on my face now. "But, I wanted to try this..."
Soft, her lips were so soft. I was paralyzed with shock. It was tender and gentle. I lost myself in the moment. I kissed her back, and felt her smile against my mouth. It was slow and delibrate and I knew it meant something to both of us..........
DAMMIT!!! Sometimes the alarm clock really has bad timing!!!! lol
Sunday, December 07, 2008
Friday, November 28, 2008
I hope you all enjoyed your day of Thanks and were aware of all the things we have to be thankful for.
Good news is, I didn't over eat!! YAHOO!! lol
I'm working on a sketch that is taking me some time. I hope to have it posted in the next couple of days!
Thanks for checking in!@
Monday, November 24, 2008
I cannot seem to resist them, I crave them at all hours of the day, breakfast, lunch, dinner...it does not matter. They are a calorie nightmare and I need an antidote. lol. Do ya'll have anything like this in your life? Healthy or otherwise? Any suggestions for getting off of this cheesy rollercoaster that I'm on?
Saturday, November 22, 2008
My little brother just called me today to let me know that they were pregnant with number 5. Holy Crapoly!
I can't keep track of all these kids. Too funny. My mom is so excited, this makes #12 grandkids for her. I'm excited for them too, I hope it's a girl for my niece Hannah!
Peace ya'll! I just HAD to share.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
I have been working hard to continue the good progress I've made with my agorophobia. I've done some driving the past few days as well, since Trink injured her ankle. I'm happy about it and think I can hold onto the feeling of accomplishment!
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Daemon - 8 (Gina's) Lil Sister
Caleb - 8 (Todd's) Lil Bro
Victorija - 6 (Gina's) Lil Sis
Hannah - 6 (Todd's) Lil Bro
Natasha - 6 (Gordon's) Big Bro
Zachary - 4 (Jasons) Bro in law
Joshua - 4 (Todd's) Lil Bro
Jacob - 3 (Todd's) Lil Bro
Angel - 3 (Gina's) Lil Sis
Tyler - 2 (Jason's) Bro in law
Noah - 2 (Todd's) Lil Bro
Shaelyn - 1 (Heather's) Oldest step sister
????? - (Chelsea's due in June) Lil Step sis
OY to the VEY!!! Too many to keep track of!! that's just Immediate family!!! Not counting all my friends kids!! Sheesh! Now if only I could remember their birthdays.....lol
Thought you guys might get a kick out that....
Monday, November 03, 2008
Friday, October 31, 2008
I live in a neighborhood that some would think of as "unsafe". I have lived here in my apartment for almost 12 years now. I have watched as people have come and gone, and the lack of care that goes into this place.
Well, a couple of years ago, after Hurricane Wilma ( I think) three adult siblings moved in next door. They lost there home in the storm. We became friends instantly. They were super nice people, and it was nice to have neighbors that I could talk to. We would see them a couple of times a week and often would stand outside talking after they got home from work. We looked out for each other.
My disability, makes it hard for me to be social on most occasions. Brenda, Donna, and Bruce were really easy to talk to though. They always had a smile for me and Lana (my dog) anytime they saw us. It gave me a sense of home, and goodness in the world. Not everyone was mean and nasty ya know?
Wednesday morning, Brenda knocks on my door.... and tells me that her sister Donna passed away that morning. It shocked me to my core. I had just seen her on Monday. We were standing outside like usual, chatting away. No indication that anything was wrong. It scared the crap out of me. Donna was 52 years old. She was so funny and sweet. My heart broke for her family, her siblings and the trauma that her sister Brenda must have been going through trying to save her.
I'm a fairly compassionate person. I didn't know what to do. I wrapped my arms around Brenda and assured her that we would pray for her family, to help them through this time. I offered whatever we had for comfort...(which is not a lot). They don't know what happened, they are still in shock.
After Brenda left, I had a panic attack...full blown. My fear of being alone, and dying, rushing to the fore of my mind.... Sucks having this wacky disabilty. I hope that I can be a good friend to Brenda and Bruce during this time. I told them they were welcome in my home just to sit and talk anytime they wanted. I feel for them so much. It's a sad thing.
What I noticed though is our other neighbors..... Richie, the firefighter on the 2nd floor hadx heard the 911 call on his radio as he was leaving for work. He felt awful too. The paramedics were already here, there was nothing they or he could do. I am surrounded by people with families, with lives and all of their own things going on. I'm amazed at the compassion that is expressed from relative strangers.
Sometimes people aren't so bad. Sometimes they suprise you. I have been sad, but glad that I am able to share some kindness with people going through a tragedy. Or just in need of a hug.
It's opened my eyes, a bit more to the world at large. Appreciate the people in your life, tell them everyday how much you care for them. You never know when it's just what someone needs to hear......
Thank you guys for checking in here. I know I'm not too consistent...(I have issues! lol) but I really enjoy hearing from those of you who stop by. If you do, just drop me a note....it's cool.
Take care on this Halloween! Be safe.....
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Lately I've been feeling like the neighborhood watchdog. I've turned into my old lady neighbor from 25 years ago. Eyeballin the kids hanging around in the stairwell, break stuff in the building. It's frustrating for me. I've lived her nearly 12 years and I've watched this place just go to shit.
I'm annoyed because I can't work, because of my stupid "problem". It doesn't seem to get better as quickly as I want it to. My brain does loops around the airport with no apparent landing pattern. I try to follow my train of thought, but manage to always jump the tracks. My creativity is stifled and my girl is the best thing on the PLANET. I worry that she won't always be happy with me being the housewife. It's so hard on her. We've got too many bills and not enough money ya know?
I'm babbling I know, it's one of my coping skills. Stream of consciousness writing.
I wanted to try and sketch again but I put too much pressure on myself for it to be perfect. I want to paint, but can't seem to get the brush to work in my hand. I need to focus but..... damn...I get so distracted by the oddest things.
I miss reading the blogs that I follow and try to catch up. I go outside and my dog is happy but she's hot and confused by my lack of enthusiasm. Sure, it could be the "female" troubles, it seems to always be worse around that time. I feel like I disappoint everyone and yet they still love me for some reason.
UGH!! Patooey....just getting stuff out of my head......I can't believe you made it this far. Thanks for listening...there's a special doodle in the mail for ya if you send me your snailmail addy!!
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
This is too true to be funny.
The next time you hear a politician use the
word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about
whether you want the 'politicians' spending
YOUR tax money.
A billion is a difficult number to comprehend,
but one advertising agency did a good job of
putting that figure into some perspective in
one of it's releases.
A billion seconds ago it was 1959.
A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.
A billion hours ago our ancestors were
living in the Stone Age.
A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.
A billion dollars ago was only
8 hours and 20 minutes,
at the rate our government
is spending it.
While this thought is still fresh in our brain...
let's take a look at New Orleans ....
It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division.
Mary Landrieu (D)
is presently asking Congress for
250 BILLION DOLLARS
to rebuild New Orleans . Interesting number...
what does it mean?
Well... if you are one of the 484,674 residents of New Orleans
(every man, woman, and child)
you each get $516,528.
Or... if you have one of the 188,251 homes in
New Orleans , your home gets $1,329,787.
Or... if you are a family of four...
your family gets $2,066,012
Washington, D. C
Are all your calculators broken??
Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL License Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Hunting License Tax
IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax)
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
L iquor Tax
Marriage License Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service charge taxes
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax (Truckers)
Recreational Vehicle Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Tele phone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Tax
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax
Telephone Usage Charge Tax
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax
STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?
Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago...
and our nation was the most prosperous in the world.
We had absolutely no national debt...
We had the largest middle class in the world...
and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.
Can you spell 'politicians!'
And I still have to
What the heck happened?????
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Monday, August 25, 2008
She felt broken inside, ashamed. Things would never, could never be the same again. It came so easily and slipped as easily away, in fear.
"This love not of this world, was never meant to be shared."
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
My mind keeps wandering off to other things to write. It's crazy. So, if you guys have any hints or tips about how to stay FOCUSED??? Please send em my way!! I have too many ideas!!
Thanks so much you guys for all the encouragment. I really hadn't expected all that. lol
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Monday, August 11, 2008
I was feeling excited and not thinking about the negativity that I had been dealing with. The pup was looking forward to swimming and running on Aunt Tam's land.....
We pulled up to the house and there she was, my buddy so happy to see us. I didn't even know what to do with myself. One hug and all was right with the world again. We talk on the phone 5-6 times a week? We always have something to say to each other. Sometimes it doesn't even require words. I love that I have a friend like that. I love that she loves my love. Her and Trink get along so well. We had so much fun with the kids and dogs. We just got a chance to relax and forget about the world for a while. A day just to reconnect with each other and smile.
I love my girls so much. I am a lucky woman.
My Trink was off for the whole week and today she went back to work. I miss her already. I miss my Tam too..... I think it's time to just make an effort to get up there once a month ya know? We need that. WE really do. I don't want to miss any more Ash N Jess time either. They are gettin so big!
So, what you should take from this story is this, cherish your friends and the joy they bring to your life. It doesn't matter if you see them once a year or everyday. Tell them you love them and how much they mean to your life.
I know my life is so enriched by this lifelong friendship. Thanks..... I don't know what i'd do without Trink and you!
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Friday, July 11, 2008
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
"With your hair like that, you're so beautiful it hurts." -- RayAnn to Angela My So-Called Life.
Monday, July 07, 2008
So this is my pup, post surgery. She's been really good about being home and not licking those darn stitches. She had her whole knee fixed. A torn cruciate ligament is a big deal in her type of dog (Lab/Aussie Shepherd mix). We aren't supposed to let her run or jump. She can take slow leashed walks to get her used to using the leg again.
Lana is a very, I mean VERY active dog. For her to be forced not to run or do any of her usual stuff has been really hard on her. She loves to play fetch and just run in general. We have to wait 4 weeks until she can do any of that stuff again.
She gets her stitches out Friday and she can swim if she wants to, but still no running.....
Ya know, I always find it fascinating how attached we become to our pets. Lana is my best friend. I talk to her like a friend and she puts up with my chatter. It's weird. I don't know what I'd do without her.
Anyway, that's what has been going on in my life lately. On a slightly different note, I went to the mall on Saturday. Not really a big deal to most, but for someone like me who has a case of agoraphobia, it was a monumental achievement! I am soo proud of myself! I haven't been to the mall in years and I used to LOVE to go!
Ok, that's enough dribble for today. I hope to get back to my usual artsy type posting soon. Thanks for stopping by!
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Why is it so hard to see others as just humans? As people sharing this planet together? I have never understood the sense of entitlement that some people have. I will never understand violence for the sake of something monetary, and intangible. I just don't get it.
I have met people of all different shapes and sizes. I have known young and old. The one thing we have in common is the need to be loved, to be cared about.
I wonder what would happen if we all approached things from a place of love? Truly, honestly?
"FIGHTING FOR PEACE IS LIKE SCREWING FOR VIRGINITY!"
Friday, May 23, 2008
She sighed and sat right where she was.
I couldn't resist her sleek little body, her three tires and that comfy, comfy seat. Her little purple bell and that clean white basket on the back.
"OK! Ok!" I said, "Let me get the dog in her harness."
I got all of out stuff together. Water bottle, cell phone, sneakers, leash.... I pushed her out the door and got in the elevator.
She was so excited. She loves to be outside. She loves the feel of the pavement on her "feet". No sooner did I put foot to pedal and we were OFF!! Like a shot. the wind blew in my face, my dog ran beside us smiling. Red, red just swished and rolled and shimmied around every corner. We pulled over halfway around. We stopped in the shade. The sun was beating down on us and I was sweating. Red laughed, not even out of breath. "Oh Frannie, you will get used to it. Before you know it, you'll be riding for miles and miles."
I scowled at her. Perturbed. She was mocking me. I gathered the pup back onto her leash and we were off again. 4 more corners, some bumps and a dip..... back where we started. Red squeaked at me and I patted her gently. "Thanks for the ride, Red."
I got her back upstairs and collapsed.....it's sooo hot....... and still I can feel her eyeing me....ready to go out again!!!
Yes, I know I'm INSANE!! I take medication it's ok.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Friday, May 02, 2008
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Sometimes she glances my way.
She never seems to stop and look me in the face.
I often wonder why.
She's cute in this unaffected sort of way.
Her smile is a little lopsided.
She's taller than most girls,
I think I like her that way.
I catch a glimpse of her when she hurries by.
Her hair is Auburn red.
I wish she'd stop and chat a while..
Maybe I'll stop and try.
She tucks her hair behind her ear.
Looks down at her feet unsure.
I try to smile encouragement.
But I'm slowed down by my fear.
She tells me I shouldn't fear her.
She's just a little girl.
I look into her bright green eyes,
After all, it's just a mirror.
Finding my voice, learning to love myself. Fighting for my sanity.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
This ones for Margo!!! lol
For all the stuff I've been going through, this is my mantra......