Ok, so sometimes I just wakeup on the wrong side of life. My hair sticks up in all directions, I feel empty inside and my feet just don't want to cooperate. What's up with that? Seriously?
Lately I've been feeling like the neighborhood watchdog. I've turned into my old lady neighbor from 25 years ago. Eyeballin the kids hanging around in the stairwell, break stuff in the building. It's frustrating for me. I've lived her nearly 12 years and I've watched this place just go to shit.
I'm annoyed because I can't work, because of my stupid "problem". It doesn't seem to get better as quickly as I want it to. My brain does loops around the airport with no apparent landing pattern. I try to follow my train of thought, but manage to always jump the tracks. My creativity is stifled and my girl is the best thing on the PLANET. I worry that she won't always be happy with me being the housewife. It's so hard on her. We've got too many bills and not enough money ya know?
I'm babbling I know, it's one of my coping skills. Stream of consciousness writing.
I wanted to try and sketch again but I put too much pressure on myself for it to be perfect. I want to paint, but can't seem to get the brush to work in my hand. I need to focus but..... damn...I get so distracted by the oddest things.
I miss reading the blogs that I follow and try to catch up. I go outside and my dog is happy but she's hot and confused by my lack of enthusiasm. Sure, it could be the "female" troubles, it seems to always be worse around that time. I feel like I disappoint everyone and yet they still love me for some reason.
UGH!! Patooey....just getting stuff out of my head......I can't believe you made it this far. Thanks for listening...there's a special doodle in the mail for ya if you send me your snailmail addy!!