Monday, April 13, 2009

......Tragic.....

The light began to fade as she felt his hands tighten around her neck. She could hear herself begging him to let her live. Her son cried in the other room, giving her strength to hold on. One more second, one more minute...please let me live....she begged. Let me check on the baby please....

Her voice was faint, blood choking her throat. Her nose broken she couldn't breathe. He picked her up and locked her in the bathroom. "Clean your face, i don't want you scaring the baby."

She pulled herself to her feet. Tried to stop the bleeding, her jaw distorted in the mirror. "I have to go to the hospital." He told her to deal with it.

Desperate not to die she told him that if he didn't take her to the hospital he was going to jail for murder. She said she would tell them that she "fell". He made her promise as he drove her to the hospital and shoved her out of the car at the emergency room door. She told the nurse that she fell. The nurse called, bullshit and notified the police.

The police came and arrested him in his car in the parking lot. He cried like a fucking bitch not to take him to jail. Meanwhile, she was trying to stay alive. Her mother rushing to the hospital to see her broken daughter. Stitches, bruising around her throat, broken ribs, broken jaw, missing teeth. Her beautiful face destroyed because of him.

I can't help but feel anger. I can't help thinking about what would be different if she had a decent father growing up. If she didn't need their approval. If she didn't feel like she deserved this, somehow. I am baffled as she struggles still. Trying to find her way. Trying to make a life for herself. To get her children back. My heart is broken for her and I don't know what to do.

She is stronger than she knows, she is loved more than she can imagine. She does not love herself. She doesn't know how. She knows how to get what she needs from them, and still the pain never really fades. She is an empty body, her spirit broken and defiled....