Open-hearted Sadness.....

It's been a sad couple of days around here for me...... let's see if I can explain. .....

I live in a neighborhood that some would think of as "unsafe". I have lived here in my apartment for almost 12 years now. I have watched as people have come and gone, and the lack of care that goes into this place.

Well, a couple of years ago, after Hurricane Wilma ( I think) three adult siblings moved in next door. They lost there home in the storm. We became friends instantly. They were super nice people, and it was nice to have neighbors that I could talk to. We would see them a couple of times a week and often would stand outside talking after they got home from work. We looked out for each other.

My disability, makes it hard for me to be social on most occasions. Brenda, Donna, and Bruce were really easy to talk to though. They always had a smile for me and Lana (my dog) anytime they saw us. It gave me a sense of home, and goodness in the world. Not everyone was mean and nasty ya know?

Wednesday morning, Brenda knocks on my door.... and tells me that her sister Donna passed away that morning. It shocked me to my core. I had just seen her on Monday. We were standing outside like usual, chatting away. No indication that anything was wrong. It scared the crap out of me. Donna was 52 years old. She was so funny and sweet. My heart broke for her family, her siblings and the trauma that her sister Brenda must have been going through trying to save her.

I'm a fairly compassionate person. I didn't know what to do. I wrapped my arms around Brenda and assured her that we would pray for her family, to help them through this time. I offered whatever we had for comfort...(which is not a lot). They don't know what happened, they are still in shock.

After Brenda left, I had a panic attack...full blown. My fear of being alone, and dying, rushing to the fore of my mind.... Sucks having this wacky disabilty. I hope that I can be a good friend to Brenda and Bruce during this time. I told them they were welcome in my home just to sit and talk anytime they wanted. I feel for them so much. It's a sad thing.

What I noticed though is our other neighbors..... Richie, the firefighter on the 2nd floor hadx heard the 911 call on his radio as he was leaving for work. He felt awful too. The paramedics were already here, there was nothing they or he could do. I am surrounded by people with families, with lives and all of their own things going on. I'm amazed at the compassion that is expressed from relative strangers.

Sometimes people aren't so bad. Sometimes they suprise you. I have been sad, but glad that I am able to share some kindness with people going through a tragedy. Or just in need of a hug.

It's opened my eyes, a bit more to the world at large. Appreciate the people in your life, tell them everyday how much you care for them. You never know when it's just what someone needs to hear......

Thank you guys for checking in here. I know I'm not too consistent...(I have issues! lol) but I really enjoy hearing from those of you who stop by. If you do, just drop me a note....it's cool.

Take care on this Halloween! Be safe.....

Peace!