I missed St. Patty's day totally. My mom came into town, to take care of her dearest friend who had a double mastectomy. She's such a trooper and is doing so well. We are trying to get out of this dreary place we live. So much going on in my head.
i have been trying to catch up with my blog friends and can't seem to get it together.
My mom is soo funny, we went out for ice cream and the girl behind the counter didn't believe that we were mother and daughter. She thought we were just friends. My mom is going to be 60 this year. She sure got a kick out of that!
I had a great day with my niece and nephew at the park. They were so much fun. It's a little chaotic around here, I hope to get creative soon.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Saturday, February 14, 2009
I am venting right now....
This is what it says about HIM on his Myspace page......:
About me:I live my life with pride n respect. Its str8 up all bout the golden rule for damn sure. Im a single dad with 2 of the most beautiful n greatest kids n the world. I keep it 100% real 24/7 n if u cant keep it 100 too then u on the wrong page. But for those of u who can...much luv n respect n welcome to my page.
It makes me gag. It makes me want to choke the life out of him. I am not a violent person. I am not a hateful or evil person. This guy is EVERYTHING that I hate. He is pure evil and he doesn't deserve the freedom he has. This is the man who demoralized my sister so deeply that she felt that she deserved to be beaten nearly to death. He played every one of her insecurities and convinced her she was worthless. She was forced to runaway. when she finally got the courage to do so, he convinced her to come back, that he'd changed. When she sent the police away, he broke her jaw, and her nose, and proceeded to choke her. Their young son was in the other room listening to the horror.
He's an animal, and my sister for some reason dropped the charges on him. She let him live. She let him continue to breathe and suck the life out of everyone around him. she finally left the state. She had to leave her son. She had nothing. He continues to act as if HE is the motherfuckin victim. He refuses to let my family see my nephew. He threatens to get a restraining order against my mother if she sends letters or cards to her GRANDSON!
He is such a piece of fuckin shit!! I am soo angry. I don't know what to do with the anger. It eats away at my spirit. I want him to suffer the way that he makes everyone else suffer. I worry about my sweet nephew who is subject to his fathers mood swings. I don't know what to do. There's really nothing I can do. I can scream and yell and vent. I can be upset, but it doesn't get me anywhere and it doesn't hurt anyone but me.
Where do you put this kind of thing? How do you compartmentalize it? I know I will never get past this. Sometimes it leaves me alone and then days like today when my mom calls me and tells me that she sent her grandson a valentine (because she loves him), she gets threatened with a restraining order. UGH! It's soo frustrating and annoying and I wish I could just cuss his ass out, but it would just be worse for my sister. He would take it out on her.
My only hope is that my sister gets her shit together and gets he son back. Then finally sends his pussy ass to jail.
I'm sorry for so much cussin but sometimes it just feels right...
Thanks ya'll!
About me:I live my life with pride n respect. Its str8 up all bout the golden rule for damn sure. Im a single dad with 2 of the most beautiful n greatest kids n the world. I keep it 100% real 24/7 n if u cant keep it 100 too then u on the wrong page. But for those of u who can...much luv n respect n welcome to my page.
It makes me gag. It makes me want to choke the life out of him. I am not a violent person. I am not a hateful or evil person. This guy is EVERYTHING that I hate. He is pure evil and he doesn't deserve the freedom he has. This is the man who demoralized my sister so deeply that she felt that she deserved to be beaten nearly to death. He played every one of her insecurities and convinced her she was worthless. She was forced to runaway. when she finally got the courage to do so, he convinced her to come back, that he'd changed. When she sent the police away, he broke her jaw, and her nose, and proceeded to choke her. Their young son was in the other room listening to the horror.
He's an animal, and my sister for some reason dropped the charges on him. She let him live. She let him continue to breathe and suck the life out of everyone around him. she finally left the state. She had to leave her son. She had nothing. He continues to act as if HE is the motherfuckin victim. He refuses to let my family see my nephew. He threatens to get a restraining order against my mother if she sends letters or cards to her GRANDSON!
He is such a piece of fuckin shit!! I am soo angry. I don't know what to do with the anger. It eats away at my spirit. I want him to suffer the way that he makes everyone else suffer. I worry about my sweet nephew who is subject to his fathers mood swings. I don't know what to do. There's really nothing I can do. I can scream and yell and vent. I can be upset, but it doesn't get me anywhere and it doesn't hurt anyone but me.
Where do you put this kind of thing? How do you compartmentalize it? I know I will never get past this. Sometimes it leaves me alone and then days like today when my mom calls me and tells me that she sent her grandson a valentine (because she loves him), she gets threatened with a restraining order. UGH! It's soo frustrating and annoying and I wish I could just cuss his ass out, but it would just be worse for my sister. He would take it out on her.
My only hope is that my sister gets her shit together and gets he son back. Then finally sends his pussy ass to jail.
I'm sorry for so much cussin but sometimes it just feels right...
Thanks ya'll!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Coloring with my sister....
The top one is my sisters and the bottom one is mine. We had a nice time doodling together. She's so talented. I wish she was well....... Enjoy!
Monday, January 19, 2009
Fear and Self-loathing in S.FLA!
The panic monster attacks without warning, and with no remorse. He climbs into my head and devours any self-esteem I've managed to grasp onto. He pokes and prods all my issues until I can't ignore them. He squeezes and tears and rips apart my soul. He makes me cry, and doubt myself. He thinks he can win.
He will never win, I won't let him. I find ways to fight back. It's hard, but I fight. It hurts, but I fight. My friends bring shields and fight the monster with me. I feel ashamed that they even have to, but they understand. They love me no matter what.
I am loved, I am blessed, I will persevere!
He will never win, I won't let him. I find ways to fight back. It's hard, but I fight. It hurts, but I fight. My friends bring shields and fight the monster with me. I feel ashamed that they even have to, but they understand. They love me no matter what.
I am loved, I am blessed, I will persevere!
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Colorful Rambles
Too big for me to scan, 16X20 art board markers, watercolor crayons and pencil....fun fun!
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Random inspirations.....
I remember looking out my window as the storm pounded the roof. I remember thinking that the rain used to hold such promise for me. A promise of hope, of new beginnings and fresh starts. I watched as the water lashed at my windows and saw headlights turn the corner and slow.
My heart fluttered in my chest when the car pulled into my driveway. My hands were shaking, and it seemed the rest of me was paralyzed. The car door opened to reveal her, the one person I could always count on.
Blondish brown hair hung in her eyes. I watched her stand beside her car, waiting...for me. She wore a pair of red converse, black slacks, with a white button down shirt. Somehow she didn't notice the rain that drenched her. She just stood there smiling, knowing I had seen her through my window.
I rushed outside to greet her.
Only then did she move towards me.
"It's storming." She said. "I'm wearing my best shoes." Her quirky smile nearly made me melt.
I looked down at myself and gestured, "I am NOT wearing my best shoes." I turned and ran back into the house, put on my purple converse and ran back outside.
"That's better." She grinned and took my hand. "Let's dance."
I flung my arms around her neck and pulled her to me. "I will dance with you anytime, anywhere. With my best shoes on unashamed."
I didn't care if the neighbors were watching, it didn't matter if the world could see us. All that mattered was that she was there as she always promised. The music played as we laughed and danced......
Show me, show me, show me how you do that trick!
The one that makes me scream she said,
the one that makes me laugh she said,
and threw her arms around my neck.....
---The Cure
My heart fluttered in my chest when the car pulled into my driveway. My hands were shaking, and it seemed the rest of me was paralyzed. The car door opened to reveal her, the one person I could always count on.
Blondish brown hair hung in her eyes. I watched her stand beside her car, waiting...for me. She wore a pair of red converse, black slacks, with a white button down shirt. Somehow she didn't notice the rain that drenched her. She just stood there smiling, knowing I had seen her through my window.
I rushed outside to greet her.
Only then did she move towards me.
"It's storming." She said. "I'm wearing my best shoes." Her quirky smile nearly made me melt.
I looked down at myself and gestured, "I am NOT wearing my best shoes." I turned and ran back into the house, put on my purple converse and ran back outside.
"That's better." She grinned and took my hand. "Let's dance."
I flung my arms around her neck and pulled her to me. "I will dance with you anytime, anywhere. With my best shoes on unashamed."
I didn't care if the neighbors were watching, it didn't matter if the world could see us. All that mattered was that she was there as she always promised. The music played as we laughed and danced......
Show me, show me, show me how you do that trick!
The one that makes me scream she said,
the one that makes me laugh she said,
and threw her arms around my neck.....
---The Cure
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tree Love
I am loving these trees....it's a phase...I don't know and I don't care...I'm having fun.
Enjoy!
Pencils, Charcoal and chalk....wheeee!!!
All We Need Is......
So, instead of stressing out about how to make my pictures perfect.....I decided to just make the pictures that make me happy. Art is all about how it makes you feel anyway. I hope you enjoy!
Pencils, chalk and markers....
Peace!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Beautiful Roots
I am so excited to be feeling creative again.....Yahoo!
enjoy!
Watercolor pencils and sharpie markers
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Christmas?
Christmas is totally my favorite time of year. Full of promises and joy. Christmas music, family, friends and lots and lots of cookies.. lol.
Yea it's my favorite time of year.
Most of my family this year is up in Arkansas with my mom and grandma. We couldn't afford to go this year, what with all this Bush fun flyin around... I think we are all feeling the pinch.
I call up there a couple of times a day just to hear all the noise in the background. My brothers and sisters, and nieces and nephews. I miss them so much. My dad is here but... well we all know how that goes. We will be going down to my Aunts house in Miami. I love her, but the rest of the family I never really fit in with.
Christmas spirit makes all things bearable I guess.
I hope you all have a peaceful and blessed holiday this year. I hope you are with the ones you love, or if you can't be, at least enjoy the ones you are with.
My prayers remain, for peace and understanding for all.
PEACE ya'll!
Frannie!
Yea it's my favorite time of year.
Most of my family this year is up in Arkansas with my mom and grandma. We couldn't afford to go this year, what with all this Bush fun flyin around... I think we are all feeling the pinch.
I call up there a couple of times a day just to hear all the noise in the background. My brothers and sisters, and nieces and nephews. I miss them so much. My dad is here but... well we all know how that goes. We will be going down to my Aunts house in Miami. I love her, but the rest of the family I never really fit in with.
Christmas spirit makes all things bearable I guess.
I hope you all have a peaceful and blessed holiday this year. I hope you are with the ones you love, or if you can't be, at least enjoy the ones you are with.
My prayers remain, for peace and understanding for all.
PEACE ya'll!
Frannie!
Monday, December 08, 2008
***Dreams Rule***
I watched them huddled together, and smiling. She did her hair twist and leaned closer to him. I grinned watching her weave her web, I had seen it so many times. Looking into his eyes, touching his leg. Her smile was disarming. I walked past them in the other direction, heading to my peaceful place in the sun.
I heard my name on the wind as I walked by. I smiled knowing that she was telling him about me. There was no new relationship without the explanation of our friendship. How do you explain something like that? The closeness? The need to talk, touch, be around each other?
My pillow filled tent was a welcome site, crawling in, I flopped on the overstuffed lumps of comfort. Opening the book I had been reading, I rolled onto my stomach and picked up where I left off.
"Can I come in?" a face at the door.
"Of course you can." I barely looked up. She always did this. "Wasn't your type?" I knew why she was here, I just don't think she did.
"I realized something." She said as she sat in front of me.
"Hmm? What's that?" I said, pretending to be uninterested.
"Well, I kept talking about you and I don't think he liked it. I realized that I didn't care if he liked it. I love you and if he can't understand that, he can't ever understand me."
"Cool." I felt butterflies in my belly. This wasn't unusual.
She moved closer to me, leaning forward as she spoke, "I know it's not much." I could feel her breath on my face now. "But, I wanted to try this..."
Soft, her lips were so soft. I was paralyzed with shock. It was tender and gentle. I lost myself in the moment. I kissed her back, and felt her smile against my mouth. It was slow and delibrate and I knew it meant something to both of us..........
DAMMIT!!! Sometimes the alarm clock really has bad timing!!!! lol
Peace ya'll!
I heard my name on the wind as I walked by. I smiled knowing that she was telling him about me. There was no new relationship without the explanation of our friendship. How do you explain something like that? The closeness? The need to talk, touch, be around each other?
My pillow filled tent was a welcome site, crawling in, I flopped on the overstuffed lumps of comfort. Opening the book I had been reading, I rolled onto my stomach and picked up where I left off.
"Can I come in?" a face at the door.
"Of course you can." I barely looked up. She always did this. "Wasn't your type?" I knew why she was here, I just don't think she did.
"I realized something." She said as she sat in front of me.
"Hmm? What's that?" I said, pretending to be uninterested.
"Well, I kept talking about you and I don't think he liked it. I realized that I didn't care if he liked it. I love you and if he can't understand that, he can't ever understand me."
"Cool." I felt butterflies in my belly. This wasn't unusual.
She moved closer to me, leaning forward as she spoke, "I know it's not much." I could feel her breath on my face now. "But, I wanted to try this..."
Soft, her lips were so soft. I was paralyzed with shock. It was tender and gentle. I lost myself in the moment. I kissed her back, and felt her smile against my mouth. It was slow and delibrate and I knew it meant something to both of us..........
DAMMIT!!! Sometimes the alarm clock really has bad timing!!!! lol
Peace ya'll!
Sunday, December 07, 2008
Friday, November 28, 2008
Turkey Coma
Wow, we actually went up to my father's for Thanksgiving. Not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. My brother and his wife and kids were there. That was the biggest reason we went.
I hope you all enjoyed your day of Thanks and were aware of all the things we have to be thankful for.
Good news is, I didn't over eat!! YAHOO!! lol
I'm working on a sketch that is taking me some time. I hope to have it posted in the next couple of days!
Thanks for checking in!@
Peace ya'll!
I hope you all enjoyed your day of Thanks and were aware of all the things we have to be thankful for.
Good news is, I didn't over eat!! YAHOO!! lol
I'm working on a sketch that is taking me some time. I hope to have it posted in the next couple of days!
Thanks for checking in!@
Peace ya'll!
Monday, November 24, 2008
EVIL personified!
Ok, I don't much talk about my "diet" or "lifestyle" change here. I get too frustrated. But I figured if I shared some of my hardships regarding this, maybe I could get some insight. I am addicted to these frickin atrocities. Burger King has added my kryptonite to their menu. Cheesy Tots. They are exactly what they sound like. Tator tots, with cheese in them, deep fried. Pure unadulterated EVIL. I cannot seem to resist them, I crave them at all hours of the day, breakfast, lunch, dinner...it does not matter. They are a calorie nightmare and I need an antidote. lol. Do ya'll have anything like this in your life? Healthy or otherwise? Any suggestions for getting off of this cheesy rollercoaster that I'm on?
Saturday, November 22, 2008
UPDATE:: Nieces and Nephews.....
GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY!!!
My little brother just called me today to let me know that they were pregnant with number 5. Holy Crapoly!
I can't keep track of all these kids. Too funny. My mom is so excited, this makes #12 grandkids for her. I'm excited for them too, I hope it's a girl for my niece Hannah!
Peace ya'll! I just HAD to share.
My little brother just called me today to let me know that they were pregnant with number 5. Holy Crapoly!
I can't keep track of all these kids. Too funny. My mom is so excited, this makes #12 grandkids for her. I'm excited for them too, I hope it's a girl for my niece Hannah!
Peace ya'll! I just HAD to share.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Court Drawings.....
Lately, I've been drawing with pastels on the tennis courts by my apartment....something to leave for the kids. Beautify the place a little. Brighten it up ya know? It washes away easily.....but for some reason it makes me happy to get out of the house and lost in my coloring...I have been working hard to continue the good progress I've made with my agorophobia. I've done some driving the past few days as well, since Trink injured her ankle. I'm happy about it and think I can hold onto the feeling of accomplishment!
Enjoy!
Peace ya'll!
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Nieces and Nephews and kids OH MY!
WOW!!! So, today I found out that my youngest step-sister is preggers. I can't believe it! I can't even keep track of all of them so I am making a list in age order.....ready???
Daemon - 8 (Gina's) Lil Sister
Caleb - 8 (Todd's) Lil Bro
Victorija - 6 (Gina's) Lil Sis
Hannah - 6 (Todd's) Lil Bro
Natasha - 6 (Gordon's) Big Bro
Zachary - 4 (Jasons) Bro in law
Joshua - 4 (Todd's) Lil Bro
Jacob - 3 (Todd's) Lil Bro
Angel - 3 (Gina's) Lil Sis
Tyler - 2 (Jason's) Bro in law
Noah - 2 (Todd's) Lil Bro
Shaelyn - 1 (Heather's) Oldest step sister
????? - (Chelsea's due in June) Lil Step sis
OY to the VEY!!! Too many to keep track of!! that's just Immediate family!!! Not counting all my friends kids!! Sheesh! Now if only I could remember their birthdays.....lol
Thought you guys might get a kick out that....
Peace ya'll!!!
Daemon - 8 (Gina's) Lil Sister
Caleb - 8 (Todd's) Lil Bro
Victorija - 6 (Gina's) Lil Sis
Hannah - 6 (Todd's) Lil Bro
Natasha - 6 (Gordon's) Big Bro
Zachary - 4 (Jasons) Bro in law
Joshua - 4 (Todd's) Lil Bro
Jacob - 3 (Todd's) Lil Bro
Angel - 3 (Gina's) Lil Sis
Tyler - 2 (Jason's) Bro in law
Noah - 2 (Todd's) Lil Bro
Shaelyn - 1 (Heather's) Oldest step sister
????? - (Chelsea's due in June) Lil Step sis
OY to the VEY!!! Too many to keep track of!! that's just Immediate family!!! Not counting all my friends kids!! Sheesh! Now if only I could remember their birthdays.....lol
Thought you guys might get a kick out that....
Peace ya'll!!!
Monday, November 03, 2008
Random Sketches.....
Just some doodles I've been practicing with...... trying to improve my perspective and technique. Eh....I think they are ok....sort of!! lol
Don't forget to VOTE tomorrow!!!!!
Peace ya'll!!
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