EVIL personified!

Ok, I don't much talk about my "diet" or "lifestyle" change here. I get too frustrated. But I figured if I shared some of my hardships regarding this, maybe I could get some insight. I am addicted to these frickin atrocities. Burger King has added my kryptonite to their menu. Cheesy Tots. They are exactly what they sound like. Tator tots, with cheese in them, deep fried. Pure unadulterated EVIL.

I cannot seem to resist them, I crave them at all hours of the day, breakfast, lunch, dinner...it does not matter. They are a calorie nightmare and I need an antidote. lol. Do ya'll have anything like this in your life? Healthy or otherwise? Any suggestions for getting off of this cheesy rollercoaster that I'm on?

UPDATE:: Nieces and Nephews.....

GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY!!!

My little brother just called me today to let me know that they were pregnant with number 5. Holy Crapoly!

I can't keep track of all these kids. Too funny. My mom is so excited, this makes #12 grandkids for her. I'm excited for them too, I hope it's a girl for my niece Hannah!

Peace ya'll! I just HAD to share.

Court Drawings.....

Lately, I've been drawing with pastels on the tennis courts by my apartment....something to leave for the kids. Beautify the place a little. Brighten it up ya know? It washes away easily.....but for some reason it makes me happy to get out of the house and lost in my coloring...

I have been working hard to continue the good progress I've made with my agorophobia. I've done some driving the past few days as well, since Trink injured her ankle. I'm happy about it and think I can hold onto the feeling of accomplishment!

Enjoy!

Peace ya'll!

Nieces and Nephews and kids OH MY!

WOW!!! So, today I found out that my youngest step-sister is preggers. I can't believe it! I can't even keep track of all of them so I am making a list in age order.....ready???

Daemon - 8 (Gina's) Lil Sister
Caleb - 8 (Todd's) Lil Bro
Victorija - 6 (Gina's) Lil Sis
Hannah - 6 (Todd's) Lil Bro
Natasha - 6 (Gordon's) Big Bro
Zachary - 4 (Jasons) Bro in law
Joshua - 4 (Todd's) Lil Bro
Jacob - 3 (Todd's) Lil Bro
Angel - 3 (Gina's) Lil Sis
Tyler - 2 (Jason's) Bro in law
Noah - 2 (Todd's) Lil Bro
Shaelyn - 1 (Heather's) Oldest step sister
????? - (Chelsea's due in June) Lil Step sis

OY to the VEY!!! Too many to keep track of!! that's just Immediate family!!! Not counting all my friends kids!! Sheesh! Now if only I could remember their birthdays.....lol

Thought you guys might get a kick out that....

Peace ya'll!!!

Random Sketches.....

Just some doodles I've been practicing with...... trying to improve my perspective and technique. Eh....I think they are ok....sort of!! lol

Don't forget to VOTE tomorrow!!!!!

Peace ya'll!!

Open-hearted Sadness.....

It's been a sad couple of days around here for me...... let's see if I can explain. .....

I live in a neighborhood that some would think of as "unsafe". I have lived here in my apartment for almost 12 years now. I have watched as people have come and gone, and the lack of care that goes into this place.

Well, a couple of years ago, after Hurricane Wilma ( I think) three adult siblings moved in next door. They lost there home in the storm. We became friends instantly. They were super nice people, and it was nice to have neighbors that I could talk to. We would see them a couple of times a week and often would stand outside talking after they got home from work. We looked out for each other.

My disability, makes it hard for me to be social on most occasions. Brenda, Donna, and Bruce were really easy to talk to though. They always had a smile for me and Lana (my dog) anytime they saw us. It gave me a sense of home, and goodness in the world. Not everyone was mean and nasty ya know?

Wednesday morning, Brenda knocks on my door.... and tells me that her sister Donna passed away that morning. It shocked me to my core. I had just seen her on Monday. We were standing outside like usual, chatting away. No indication that anything was wrong. It scared the crap out of me. Donna was 52 years old. She was so funny and sweet. My heart broke for her family, her siblings and the trauma that her sister Brenda must have been going through trying to save her.

I'm a fairly compassionate person. I didn't know what to do. I wrapped my arms around Brenda and assured her that we would pray for her family, to help them through this time. I offered whatever we had for comfort...(which is not a lot). They don't know what happened, they are still in shock.

After Brenda left, I had a panic attack...full blown. My fear of being alone, and dying, rushing to the fore of my mind.... Sucks having this wacky disabilty. I hope that I can be a good friend to Brenda and Bruce during this time. I told them they were welcome in my home just to sit and talk anytime they wanted. I feel for them so much. It's a sad thing.

What I noticed though is our other neighbors..... Richie, the firefighter on the 2nd floor hadx heard the 911 call on his radio as he was leaving for work. He felt awful too. The paramedics were already here, there was nothing they or he could do. I am surrounded by people with families, with lives and all of their own things going on. I'm amazed at the compassion that is expressed from relative strangers.

Sometimes people aren't so bad. Sometimes they suprise you. I have been sad, but glad that I am able to share some kindness with people going through a tragedy. Or just in need of a hug.

It's opened my eyes, a bit more to the world at large. Appreciate the people in your life, tell them everyday how much you care for them. You never know when it's just what someone needs to hear......

Thank you guys for checking in here. I know I'm not too consistent...(I have issues! lol) but I really enjoy hearing from those of you who stop by. If you do, just drop me a note....it's cool.

Take care on this Halloween! Be safe.....

Peace!

Prayerful Chillin

Just stretchin my creative muscles. I hope you all are well. Make sure you remember to vote! Whomever you vote for, just make sure to use your right to do it!

Peace ya'll!!

Blow Me a Kiss

Random Sketch

UGH!!

Ok, so sometimes I just wakeup on the wrong side of life. My hair sticks up in all directions, I feel empty inside and my feet just don't want to cooperate. What's up with that? Seriously?

Lately I've been feeling like the neighborhood watchdog. I've turned into my old lady neighbor from 25 years ago. Eyeballin the kids hanging around in the stairwell, break stuff in the building. It's frustrating for me. I've lived her nearly 12 years and I've watched this place just go to shit.

I'm annoyed because I can't work, because of my stupid "problem". It doesn't seem to get better as quickly as I want it to. My brain does loops around the airport with no apparent landing pattern. I try to follow my train of thought, but manage to always jump the tracks. My creativity is stifled and my girl is the best thing on the PLANET. I worry that she won't always be happy with me being the housewife. It's so hard on her. We've got too many bills and not enough money ya know?

I'm babbling I know, it's one of my coping skills. Stream of consciousness writing.

I wanted to try and sketch again but I put too much pressure on myself for it to be perfect. I want to paint, but can't seem to get the brush to work in my hand. I need to focus but..... damn...I get so distracted by the oddest things.

I miss reading the blogs that I follow and try to catch up. I go outside and my dog is happy but she's hot and confused by my lack of enthusiasm. Sure, it could be the "female" troubles, it seems to always be worse around that time. I feel like I disappoint everyone and yet they still love me for some reason.

UGH!! Patooey....just getting stuff out of my head......I can't believe you made it this far. Thanks for listening...there's a special doodle in the mail for ya if you send me your snailmail addy!!

Peace ya'll!

WTF?!?!?!

How many zeros in a billion?

This is too true to be funny.

The next time you hear a politician use the
word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about
whether you want the 'politicians' spending
YOUR tax money.

A billion is a difficult number to comprehend,
but one advertising agency did a good job of
putting that figure into some perspective in
one of it's releases.

A.
A billion seconds ago it was 1959.

B.
A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.

C.
A billion hours ago our ancestors were
living in the Stone Age.

D.
A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.

E.
A billion dollars ago was only
8 hours and 20 minutes,
at the rate our government
is spending it.

While this thought is still fresh in our brain...
let's take a look at New Orleans ....
It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division.


Louisiana Senator,
Mary Landrieu (D)
is presently asking Congress for
250 BILLION DOLLARS
to rebuild New Orleans . Interesting number...
what does it mean?

A.
Well... if you are one of the 484,674 residents of New Orleans
(every man, woman, and child)
you each get $516,528.

B.
Or... if you have one of the 188,251 homes in
New Orleans , your home gets $1,329,787.

C.
Or... if you are a family of four...
your family gets $2,066,012

Washington, D. C


Are all your calculators broken??

Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL License Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax)
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
L iquor Tax
Luxury Tax
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service charge taxes
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax (Truckers)
Sales Taxes
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Tele phone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Tax
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax
Telephone Usage Charge Tax
Utility Tax
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax

STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago...
and our nation was the most prosperous in the world.

We had absolutely no national debt...
We had the largest middle class in the world...
and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.

What happened?
Can you spell 'politicians!'

And I still have to
press '1'
for English?

What the heck happened?????

Sarah Sarah.....((ugh!))

Sometimes I just have to shake my head....seriously what is wrong with her??? Don't forget to watch the debate tonight!!!! It should be good comedy.

GET OUT AND VOTE!!!!!!!

....and just like that, a window once open so freely, was slammed shut. She felt the wind go out of her. An innocence she cherished was suddenly lost. Love once shared, now locked away inside. Hidden from the hatred that jealousy caused.

She felt broken inside, ashamed. Things would never, could never be the same again. It came so easily and slipped as easily away, in fear.

"This love not of this world, was never meant to be shared."

---Skyler Blue

Well well well.....

So, ya'll have been really nice about this writing thing. I've been tapping away at my laptop for a while now. Getting my thoughts in order. I will try and post something in a little while maybe. For some reason though, I can't stop editing. I'm soo picky!! lol...

My mind keeps wandering off to other things to write. It's crazy. So, if you guys have any hints or tips about how to stay FOCUSED??? Please send em my way!! I have too many ideas!!

Thanks so much you guys for all the encouragment. I really hadn't expected all that. lol

Ache

There's an ache that permeates my soul.

Waking or sleeping, the ache remains.

An ache of longing, of love, of destruction.....

I ache.

---Khrystian Meadows---

My girls are talking to me again! I'm excited!!

Total Wordle Fun...

Thanks Lori!

Best Friends and Sunshine....

So, Friday we got the chance to go up to Jupiter Farms on Friday. I have to say I was soo looking forward to it. I haven't seen my best friend in just about a year. She only lives about 45 minutes away, but schedules and kids sometimes don't work out.

I was feeling excited and not thinking about the negativity that I had been dealing with. The pup was looking forward to swimming and running on Aunt Tam's land.....

We pulled up to the house and there she was, my buddy so happy to see us. I didn't even know what to do with myself. One hug and all was right with the world again. We talk on the phone 5-6 times a week? We always have something to say to each other. Sometimes it doesn't even require words. I love that I have a friend like that. I love that she loves my love. Her and Trink get along so well. We had so much fun with the kids and dogs. We just got a chance to relax and forget about the world for a while. A day just to reconnect with each other and smile.

Sure, it stormed just as we were leaving. But it couldn't put a damper on the laughter or the joy we got from seeing each other. Yea traffic was a killer on the way home. But, I had this little ball of sunshine inside that kept away all that icky stuff. It's amazing to me how that happens.

I love my girls so much. I am a lucky woman.

My Trink was off for the whole week and today she went back to work. I miss her already. I miss my Tam too..... I think it's time to just make an effort to get up there once a month ya know? We need that. WE really do. I don't want to miss any more Ash N Jess time either. They are gettin so big!

So, what you should take from this story is this, cherish your friends and the joy they bring to your life. It doesn't matter if you see them once a year or everyday. Tell them you love them and how much they mean to your life.

I know my life is so enriched by this lifelong friendship. Thanks..... I don't know what i'd do without Trink and you!

D

Open Letter to "Dad"

Angry

You make me so mad.

Hurt

There's nothing left to hurt.

Feelings

They don't exist for you anymore.

Alone

You will be alone when you die.

That's sad.

I used to care.

I used to mind not having a "father".

It's the same thing again.

I tried.

I gave.

I believed.

I trusted.

Never again.

I'm done.

You suck.

Good luck in your old age.

Your doctors said you were going to die.

They told you to change your ways.

HA!

You never have.

You think you're right.

You always think you're right.

You are wrong.

You never knew what it meant,

to be family.

You always said that family was what mattered most.

Maybe what you really meant to say was...

"Family, I matter most."

Never again, never again.

I'm done giving you chances.

Done hoping you will change.

Done thinking you will ever be the dad I always wanted you to be.

It won't matter if you read this.

It won't matter if you know.

It has never mattered how anyone else feels.

It only matters that you think you're right.

I can't stand that I have wasted all this time.

Trying to build something that was never there.

Like bricks of dust built on a puddle.

It was never real.

You hid your deceit and selfishness,

behind your humor and your smile.

I tried to make believe with you,

but couldn't get past the lies.

You'd say one thing and do another.

Sure that we would not be alarmed.

That just like every other time,

we'd welcome you with open arms.

How many times have you cried on your knees?

"Forgive! I promise I will change."

How many times do you think I'll fall, for the

same fucked up little games?

You're quite the schemer and salesman.

Plastic smile, fake put on, airs.

I see right through your bullshit,

I've found nothing of substance there.

You're a sad, pathetic man.

Doomed to be alone.

No one to take care of you.

Stuck there in your home.

You could have redeemed yourself.

Could've made a difference for once in your life.

You could've proven you had changed.

Instead you blame your wife.

I hurt for my sister.

The little girl who needed dad.

She always wanted love from you.

I guess you can't give what you don't have.

You never really got it.

Never really understood.

What it meant to be a father.

Wasn't ready for parenthood.

So take your lies, take your shit.

Your arrogant ignorance.

Take all the talk and worthless words.....and.....

Ah...FUCK OFF!

~Donna~

Angelina Fascination

What is it about Angelina? Let me count......

I LOVE her VOICE!!

Ok, just part of my OCD....THANKS MARGO!

Ok, this has been going on since yesterday. When Margo posted this little picture. There are a certain # of horses hidden throughout. Let me know how many you find because I know how many I found. I also know what the ACTUAL answers SUPPOSEDLY are.

Let's see if we can come to a consensus. I think there are more than even the artist SAYS.